I live for me not for the society

The life of a That’s where I give a big More and more, the constant question on every twenty-something’s mind is what’s next? When we’re lost or are having trouble figuring out the next step in our lives, we turn to that invisible Ah, yes. The invisible checklist strikes again. I freaked out because I wasn’t I shouldn’t be forced into anything on this stupid invisible checklist and neither should you. So I ripped up society’s checklist and decided to make my own. I have so many other life goals that I want to achieve. Whether they are small (like Twenty-something’s everywhere are redefining their lives, and I give them so much credit for that. From deciding to get married at a young age to deciding not to get married at all, our we should be proud to be a part of a stronger generation. Big change is happening, even when you think your life is at a standstill. But running away from our dreams and into the invisible checklist won’t make life any easier. Getting So, when you think about giving up and turning to someone else’s dream, remember that may we inspire them. Featured image via I couldn’t agree with you more, Kali. That’s exactly why I co-wrote “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels” (Seal Press). We no longer have to get married, so why get married? We are free to create the life scripts we want … and even the marriage we want, should we want it. Marriage should not be on the list as “the next thing to do.” Be a rebel!

Do you ever find yourself pulled between what you want and what others want for you? Are you too afraid to be your true self or share your real thoughts? Do you care too much about what other people think? Let’s talk about learning to live for yourself & not others. From childhood, a lot of us begin our lives learning to live for our parent's approval and the approval of those around us—our peers, teachers, or society in general. This comes out of our desire for love and a sense of belonging. We seek love and acceptance from others, which is understandable, as one of Maslow’s psychological needs. Eventually though, we must learn to love ourselves, and find within us the love, approval, validation and confidence we've been yearning for. Thus begins the journey of discovering internal validation over external validation. Living for yourself means living the life that YOU want for yourself, regardless of the opinions of others. It’s living a life you feel aligned with, a life you love, and a life you are proud of. Living for others means living to please others, living for external validation & approval, and caring about what others think. You’re setting your goals based on what others want for you (like your parents), or chasing what society deems as success. Living for others can also mean wanting to do things to impress others, please others, or get approval from others, so you're not really being your authentic self and doing what you want. You're doing things because you...

Waking up feeling purposeless is incredibly frustrating. You look around and see your friends and coworkers living passionate, engaged, meaningful lives. They have deep relationships, rewarding jobs and a sense of direction that compels them to hop out of bed each morning with a spring in their step. You know that God has something good in store for you. You don’t believe he intends you to live a life of painful drudgery in which each day is a total drag. After all, the Bible is chock full of passages about joy. While this certainly doesn’t mean that every single day is a parade and circus, it does mean that an overall sense of gladness should permeate your life. In Psalm 63:7, David said, “…for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.” How can you get to that place? Where, instead of wandering aimlessly through life, you’re actually singing for joy (or just making a joyful noise if you’re not the singing type)? In this post, we’re going to first talk about some key signs that you may not be living in the fullness of God’s purpose for you. Then we’ll give some key suggestions for how to begin living a meaningful, enthusiastic, joyful life. 6 SIGNS THAT YOU MAY NOT BE LIVING IN GOD’S PURPOSE Before we dive into this point, we need to make at least one caveat. In one sense, you are always living in God’s purpose. God is God and He works all things, including your life, according to his purposes. Nothing can happen without God ordaining it. ...

But as we switch up that order or decide to skip a step, society seems to have a problem with that. RELATED: That’s where I give a big middle finger to all the haters. More and more, the constant question on every twenty-something’s mind is: what’s next? When we’re lost or are having trouble figuring out the next step in our lives, we turn to that invisible checklist. Recently I had one of these breakdowns, and it wasn’t pretty. I’m a recent graduate Ah, yes. The invisible checklist strikes again. RELATED: I freaked out because I wasn’t engaged yet and then freaked out because I don’t want to be engaged. There was a lot of freaking out that night, but then I realized that I shouldn’t be forced into anything on this stupid invisible checklist and neither should you. So I ripped up society’s checklist and decided to make my own. I have so many other life goals that I want to achieve. Whether they are small (like traveling more) or big (like writing a book), I’m not one to let other people make my decisions, so why am I starting now? Twenty-somethings everywhere are redefining their lives, and I give them so much credit for that. From deciding to get married at a young age to deciding not to get married at all, our generation is finally taking the leaps to define their own lives and tear up the invisible lists left for us by society. So, when you think about giving up and turning to someone else’s dream, remember that millennials everywhere are with you. We don’t have to foll...

How shall we live? What shall we live for, if anything? How can we decide right from wrong? Is there any reasonable way to answer these questions that doesn’t require us to fall back on blind faith? Let’s Ask the Old Greeks People have been striving to answer these questions literally for thousands of years. One who attempted it was Socrates (469-399 BC). One of his most powerful breakthroughs was the idea of scrutinizing one’s beliefs through a type of cross-examination which became known as the dialectic. This involved asking and answering probing questions in order to arrive at something that could be considered true. Essentially he played devil’s advocate and challenged people to justify what they claimed to know. For example, there’s a story where Socrates met a young man who was going to court to charge his father with impiety. When Socrates learned of this, he acknowledged the man as a presumed expert in piety, stating that one must be an expert in piety in order to charge his own father with impiety. Then Socrates humbly asked the man to define piety for him, a concept of which Socrates claimed ignorance. The man repeatedly tried in vain to define it, with Socrates offering a simple and undeniable explanation why each answer offered couldn’t be valid. It’s easy to see that Socrates would ultimately piss off the establishment and get himself sentenced to death. He could have escaped, but he chose to stay in Athens and take the poison. Socrates had tremendous respect...

I am almost thirty and I still don’t fully have my shit together. Newsflash: I am still okay with it, so stop trying to make me feel like less than a human for it. I am tired of the high standards that society has set for us. You must go to college if you want to have any job. You must go to grad school if you want a good job. You must get that job soon afterward so that you can find that perfect person and prepare for a perfect life together. With a big yard, a large white picket fence and 2.5 children running with a perfect dog in the front yard. You must start saving for that 401K so that you can retire at the ripe age of 65 and then begin to enjoy the life that you created. But what about those who don’t have life going that way for them? What about those who chose to take a different path? What about those who just don’t give a damn about the way that life is “supposed” to look? I am tired of having people making me feel like half of a human because I still live at home. It wasn’t part of the plan, but I am choosing to live at home. Why? Because life got in the way and I am trying to be responsible by saving my money so I can own my own home. I see friends and coworkers who rent places struggle to make ends meet. Frankly, I would prefer to know that I can afford to eat something other than Ramen noodles if I choose to and that I am better preparing for my future. I am tired of people asking, “When are you going to settle down?” because I am still singl...

The life of a That’s where I give a big More and more, the constant question on every twenty-something’s mind is what’s next? When we’re lost or are having trouble figuring out the next step in our lives, we turn to that invisible Ah, yes. The invisible checklist strikes again. I freaked out because I wasn’t I shouldn’t be forced into anything on this stupid invisible checklist and neither should you. So I ripped up society’s checklist and decided to make my own. I have so many other life goals that I want to achieve. Whether they are small (like Twenty-something’s everywhere are redefining their lives, and I give them so much credit for that. From deciding to get married at a young age to deciding not to get married at all, our we should be proud to be a part of a stronger generation. Big change is happening, even when you think your life is at a standstill. But running away from our dreams and into the invisible checklist won’t make life any easier. Getting So, when you think about giving up and turning to someone else’s dream, remember that may we inspire them. Featured image via I couldn’t agree with you more, Kali. That’s exactly why I co-wrote “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels” (Seal Press). We no longer have to get married, so why get married? We are free to create the life scripts we want … and even the marriage we want, should we want it. Marriage should not be on the list as “the next thing to do.” Be a rebel!

But as we switch up that order or decide to skip a step, society seems to have a problem with that. RELATED: That’s where I give a big middle finger to all the haters. More and more, the constant question on every twenty-something’s mind is: what’s next? When we’re lost or are having trouble figuring out the next step in our lives, we turn to that invisible checklist. Recently I had one of these breakdowns, and it wasn’t pretty. I’m a recent graduate Ah, yes. The invisible checklist strikes again. RELATED: I freaked out because I wasn’t engaged yet and then freaked out because I don’t want to be engaged. There was a lot of freaking out that night, but then I realized that I shouldn’t be forced into anything on this stupid invisible checklist and neither should you. So I ripped up society’s checklist and decided to make my own. I have so many other life goals that I want to achieve. Whether they are small (like traveling more) or big (like writing a book), I’m not one to let other people make my decisions, so why am I starting now? Twenty-somethings everywhere are redefining their lives, and I give them so much credit for that. From deciding to get married at a young age to deciding not to get married at all, our generation is finally taking the leaps to define their own lives and tear up the invisible lists left for us by society. So, when you think about giving up and turning to someone else’s dream, remember that millennials everywhere are with you. We don’t have to foll...

Do you ever find yourself pulled between what you want and what others want for you? Are you too afraid to be your true self or share your real thoughts? Do you care too much about what other people think? Let’s talk about learning to live for yourself & not others. From childhood, a lot of us begin our lives learning to live for our parent's approval and the approval of those around us—our peers, teachers, or society in general. This comes out of our desire for love and a sense of belonging. We seek love and acceptance from others, which is understandable, as one of Maslow’s psychological needs. Eventually though, we must learn to love ourselves, and find within us the love, approval, validation and confidence we've been yearning for. Thus begins the journey of discovering internal validation over external validation. Living for yourself means living the life that YOU want for yourself, regardless of the opinions of others. It’s living a life you feel aligned with, a life you love, and a life you are proud of. Living for others means living to please others, living for external validation & approval, and caring about what others think. You’re setting your goals based on what others want for you (like your parents), or chasing what society deems as success. Living for others can also mean wanting to do things to impress others, please others, or get approval from others, so you're not really being your authentic self and doing what you want. You're doing things because you...

I am almost thirty and I still don’t fully have my shit together. Newsflash: I am still okay with it, so stop trying to make me feel like less than a human for it. I am tired of the high standards that society has set for us. You must go to college if you want to have any job. You must go to grad school if you want a good job. You must get that job soon afterward so that you can find that perfect person and prepare for a perfect life together. With a big yard, a large white picket fence and 2.5 children running with a perfect dog in the front yard. You must start saving for that 401K so that you can retire at the ripe age of 65 and then begin to enjoy the life that you created. But what about those who don’t have life going that way for them? What about those who chose to take a different path? What about those who just don’t give a damn about the way that life is “supposed” to look? I am tired of having people making me feel like half of a human because I still live at home. It wasn’t part of the plan, but I am choosing to live at home. Why? Because life got in the way and I am trying to be responsible by saving my money so I can own my own home. I see friends and coworkers who rent places struggle to make ends meet. Frankly, I would prefer to know that I can afford to eat something other than Ramen noodles if I choose to and that I am better preparing for my future. I am tired of people asking, “When are you going to settle down?” because I am still singl...