What is one thing you would never change about her

But this decade isn't all about pulling the rug out from under everything you hold dear. And yes, there are a few things you should keep exactly the same. To help you embrace them, we've uncovered the most important things you shouldn't alter in your forties. And for the things to get rid of entirely, check out the Your individual style Shutterstock Don't fall for the idea that you need to leave a fun fashion sense behind once you reach a certain age. For "I returned to wearing the clothes and hairstyles that reflected who I really am," she says. "For example, I keep a small blue streak in my hair behind my ear to remind me of my courage." And for more ways to dress your best in your best decade, learn all about the Your playful nature Keeping your playful nature is key to staying young at heart. "Play is so important for so many reasons," says G. Brian Benson, author of the book Habits For Success: Inspired Ideas to Help You Soar. "It keeps us feeling young, provides exercise, keeps our brain sharp, helps us connect with others, allows us more opportunities to laugh, and gives us something to look forward to." From heading out for drinks with coworkers to attending side-splitting comedy shows, it's important to keep laughter an essential part of your life. In fact, here are Your commitment to yourself Shutterstock Though you may have more responsibilities than ever before, it's still important to find time for yourself. "Putting ourselves first may or may not have been a ...

I had it all memorized — the way some people memorize favorite songs, Bible verses, or math facts. That’s how I had my town memorized — by heart. I knew which sidewalk bulges could derail a Schwinn bike. I knew shortcuts through alleyways; funny bluish hairdos of hunched old ladies at church; the smell of the Farmer’s Co-op break room, which reeked of dust and cigarettes. If I close my eyes, I can see it. Even more, I can feel it. I’m five years old, pressing fingers into hot, bubbling road-tar in July. I’m eight, gripping the creaking, cool chains of swings at our town’s only playground. I’m twelve, diving deep into the depths of our town’s inky pond, flutter-kicking all the way to the bottom to grab handfuls of cold mud. When you live in one town — one house — for your entire growing-up life, you can’t help but memorize every last inch of a place. In a town like that, your own self is everywhere long after you leave — on every street, library table, and ball field dugout. I knew the place and the people, and they knew me. And that’s how I knew I had a secure place in this world. For most of my childhood life, one woman, Kathy, cut my hair. Another woman, Marge, delivered my café cheeseburgers. One suited man, Harry, stood at the doorway of the Sliefert Funeral Chapel in town. He greeted us with soft pats on our backs, because he knew we were nervous about seeing another old church friend in a casket. I knew where a lot of them would be buried years before they died. That...

Navigating co-existence in the form of a romantic relationship can be difficult. Obviously, there are things you should be willing to give up or change about yourself. For instance, if you're asked to quit smoking, you should do it. You should do that anyway and being able to make someone you love happy at the same time you're making yourself healthier is a winning situation all around. You should strive to be a more patient person and a better communicator. Generally, when you're dating, if changing/adapting/expanding part of your personality makes you harder, better, stronger, faster, then that's a good thing. However (biggest "however" in the world!), if you find yourself changing in ways that detract from your happiness, put you are risk of losing your identity, or alienate you from the things and people you care about, then you've got to reevaluate whether or not you're giving up too much for someone else—and whether or not this relationship is a positive, self-affirming, healthy thing for you to be in at all. Most importantly, you don't want to be dating anyone that makes unreasonable demands about how you should alter yourself to suit the relationship. Again, there are reasonable requests. Please don't have sex with other people (unless that's something you guys are down with). Please think about me when you're making decisions. Please don't call me names when we're fighting. But then there are unreasonable requests too, and in order to be in a happy relationship, y...

Louise Walker, who's getting her Ph.D. and was enroute to Australia to deliver her first paper, wrote a considered reply from the airport lounge. "My nose is the kind of nose that no plastic surgeon has in his portfolio or framed on her wall. It's not an ugly nose mind you, but rather a nose with character, a noble nose. It forms a large arc in the middle of my face that makes profile shots a little more jarring than full frontals. It's the same arc that I love on my mother's face, so I suppose I associate my bold facial architecture with my mother's ferocious love for her children, her irrepressible sense of mischief and her formidable will. We are just not cute nose kind of girls. As I enter 2011, it is my distinctive proboscis that gets there first. I wouldn't change it for anything." I choose my smile. Oh, I wasn't always happy with it. As a teenager I hated my slight overbite and my oversized front teeth. Over the years, various dentists have tried to toy with it (bonding! whitening!), but I've always resisted. And, once, a business partner told me I show too much gum when I smile (need I add "former")?

When you meet that special someone and things are going great, it’s easy to think this is the beginning of something amazing. But what if that person isn’t who you think they are? What if they have some pretty unbearable habits that could end up ruining your relationship? If you’re not sure if she will ever change or if you should give her another chance, here are some signs she isn’t worth your time: 1) She’s overly negative Negativity is one of the worst things to come out of a relationship. In a When one person is negative, it can start to bring the other person down, too. If she’s putting you down, criticizing you, or not building you up, she’s not worth your time. She may feel like she doesn’t have any control over her life, so she takes it out on you. If you notice that she’s constantly complaining about her life, her exes, or anything else, it’s time to She may not even realize that she’s doing it, so try to stay positive and show her that you want to help her out of her rut. If she doesn’t respond positively to your efforts, then you know she’s not the one for you. The thing is, yes, people can change and become more positive, but if you’ve tried for a while and still she brings almost nothing but negativity in to your life, this is a sign she isn’t worth your time. Think about it: is this the person you would want to spend your life with? Is this the mindset you would want your children to have? When someone is so consumed by their own negativity, it’s important t...

Issues That Damage a Relationship The frustration of your partner's lack of follow-through on good intentions, saying one thing and then doing another, or breaking promises can slowly erode both the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. This frustration can be heightened if your partner refuses to seek couples counseling with you. Remember You Can't Change Your Partner It's important to accept that you can't change your partner. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your partner to change. However, it is not your responsibility to change your partner. You can find ways to support them, but it is up to them to make the change. Talking about your concerns is not always easy, especially if it is a sensitive topic or if the problem has been simmering for a long time. The only way to change the situation is to tell your partner how you feel and then have a serious discussion about what you can do, both as individuals and as partners, to address the problem. Don't postpone having a conversation with your partner. Instead, try to identify the behaviors that are creating problems in your relationship and initiate a conversation about what you can both do to improve the situation. Strategies for Difficult Conversations So how should a person approach the conversation where they ask their spouse or partner to change? "During any discussion around change with your partner, it is important to discuss the positive as...

When you meet that special someone and things are going great, it’s easy to think this is the beginning of something amazing. But what if that person isn’t who you think they are? What if they have some pretty unbearable habits that could end up ruining your relationship? If you’re not sure if she will ever change or if you should give her another chance, here are some signs she isn’t worth your time: 1) She’s overly negative Negativity is one of the worst things to come out of a relationship. In a When one person is negative, it can start to bring the other person down, too. If she’s putting you down, criticizing you, or not building you up, she’s not worth your time. She may feel like she doesn’t have any control over her life, so she takes it out on you. If you notice that she’s constantly complaining about her life, her exes, or anything else, it’s time to She may not even realize that she’s doing it, so try to stay positive and show her that you want to help her out of her rut. If she doesn’t respond positively to your efforts, then you know she’s not the one for you. The thing is, yes, people can change and become more positive, but if you’ve tried for a while and still she brings almost nothing but negativity in to your life, this is a sign she isn’t worth your time. Think about it: is this the person you would want to spend your life with? Is this the mindset you would want your children to have? When someone is so consumed by their own negativity, it’s important t...

But this decade isn't all about pulling the rug out from under everything you hold dear. And yes, there are a few things you should keep exactly the same. To help you embrace them, we've uncovered the most important things you shouldn't alter in your forties. And for the things to get rid of entirely, check out the Your individual style Shutterstock Don't fall for the idea that you need to leave a fun fashion sense behind once you reach a certain age. For "I returned to wearing the clothes and hairstyles that reflected who I really am," she says. "For example, I keep a small blue streak in my hair behind my ear to remind me of my courage." And for more ways to dress your best in your best decade, learn all about the Your playful nature Keeping your playful nature is key to staying young at heart. "Play is so important for so many reasons," says G. Brian Benson, author of the book Habits For Success: Inspired Ideas to Help You Soar. "It keeps us feeling young, provides exercise, keeps our brain sharp, helps us connect with others, allows us more opportunities to laugh, and gives us something to look forward to." From heading out for drinks with coworkers to attending side-splitting comedy shows, it's important to keep laughter an essential part of your life. In fact, here are Your commitment to yourself Shutterstock Though you may have more responsibilities than ever before, it's still important to find time for yourself. "Putting ourselves first may or may not have been a ...

Louise Walker, who's getting her Ph.D. and was enroute to Australia to deliver her first paper, wrote a considered reply from the airport lounge. "My nose is the kind of nose that no plastic surgeon has in his portfolio or framed on her wall. It's not an ugly nose mind you, but rather a nose with character, a noble nose. It forms a large arc in the middle of my face that makes profile shots a little more jarring than full frontals. It's the same arc that I love on my mother's face, so I suppose I associate my bold facial architecture with my mother's ferocious love for her children, her irrepressible sense of mischief and her formidable will. We are just not cute nose kind of girls. As I enter 2011, it is my distinctive proboscis that gets there first. I wouldn't change it for anything." I choose my smile. Oh, I wasn't always happy with it. As a teenager I hated my slight overbite and my oversized front teeth. Over the years, various dentists have tried to toy with it (bonding! whitening!), but I've always resisted. And, once, a business partner told me I show too much gum when I smile (need I add "former")?

Issues That Damage a Relationship The frustration of your partner's lack of follow-through on good intentions, saying one thing and then doing another, or breaking promises can slowly erode both the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. This frustration can be heightened if your partner refuses to seek couples counseling with you. Remember You Can't Change Your Partner It's important to accept that you can't change your partner. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your partner to change. However, it is not your responsibility to change your partner. You can find ways to support them, but it is up to them to make the change. Talking about your concerns is not always easy, especially if it is a sensitive topic or if the problem has been simmering for a long time. The only way to change the situation is to tell your partner how you feel and then have a serious discussion about what you can do, both as individuals and as partners, to address the problem. Don't postpone having a conversation with your partner. Instead, try to identify the behaviors that are creating problems in your relationship and initiate a conversation about what you can both do to improve the situation. Strategies for Difficult Conversations So how should a person approach the conversation where they ask their spouse or partner to change? "During any discussion around change with your partner, it is important to discuss the positive as...